Mr. President, Build This Death Star
Here's an interesting twist to the fiscal cliff negotiations. A petition calling on the U.S. to build a Death Star has reached 25,000 signatures on the "We the People" White House website a day ahead of its deadline -- meaning the Obama Administration, according to its own rules, must prepare an official response, the Mashable reported.
The cost of turning the fictional Death Star into a fully operational battle station was estimated by economics students at Lehigh University last year to be $852 quadrillion, or roughly 13,000 times the global GDP. So there goes the budget deficit.
On the other hand, once built, a Death Star could be used to shake down other nations, not to mention alien civilizations, for the necessary cash. Do it right, wait a few centuries, and it could turn a profit.
There are other economic benefits, too. "By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star," the petition reads, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense."
Talk about a stimulus program! We'd just have to make sure no hotshot pilots drop a torpedo down its thermal exhaust port. (Better yet, maybe design it without a thermal exhaust port that just happens to go all the way to the main reactor.) The petition only requires that the President start construction work by 2016, meaning he could simply direct NASA to commence the blueprint process and leave his successor to sort out the messy details, whomever that may be.
We can't wait to hear Secretary Clinton or Senator Rubio's position on Death Star construction. Though the Force may be strong with this petition, chances are the White House is going to put the kibosh on the whole idea. No word yet on when it's going to issue that official response.
There's something of a backlog, given that the administration has yet to respond to all those post-election secession petitions. But if we might offer some advice to the President: maybe you shouldn't take this whole Death Star thing off the table just yet.
After all, nothing is going to force House Speaker John Boehner to negotiate faster than the threat of a $852 quadrillion budget requisition in 2013 -- not to mention a moon-sized, planet-destroying sphere hanging over his head. Should the White House abandon online petitions altogether, or is it a harmless way to show democracy in action? Let us know in the comments.
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